Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
hide, pretty girl


they want to get
in your head, and
hold you like a pen,
thumb on the ribs,
index on the spine,
middle on the neck
and stroke this
city red


they want to
sway you
by the waist
like pay-
phone
hips,
teach you to
take everything
off like
rocketships



crash






mayday






houston

i'm a
problem
'
Add a Comment:
 
:iconxswiffy:
Xswiffy Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
your stuff always makes me want to cry a little bit
Reply
:iconmode-de-vie:
mode-de-vie Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2010  Student Writer
I love the description of where the fingers go on the body. So interesting.
Reply
:iconpanda-vision:
Panda-Vision Featured By Owner May 30, 2010   Writer
Wow Vin so super consistent in the metaphor, which makes this really nice and strong without feeling forced - even if the idea of forcibly bending something into a certain shape might be kinda appropriate here.

Kudos.
Reply
:iconellyevans679:
Ellyevans679 Featured By Owner May 30, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
Great rhythm Vincenzo and I love the pen metaphor.

:heart: Elle
Reply
:icondatkin:
datkin Featured By Owner May 30, 2010
Love the last 2 lines... The rest of its good too, just love the last two lines especially
Reply
:iconspongexd:
spongeXD Featured By Owner May 29, 2010
I really like the addition,n ow that'snow that's art in the form of literature
Reply
:icondinablokhina:
DinaBlokhina Featured By Owner May 29, 2010
Ain't that the truth?
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:icongetyourgrip: More from GetYourGrip


Featured in Collections

Literature by Hermionesclass101

you send chills down my spine by graceofphotography

Literature by cowboyB0B


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
May 29, 2010
File Size
637 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
847
Favourites
33 (who?)
Comments
7
×