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A thought is forgot
in a breath once free taken in to slip away,
(in a trade with another),
and she exhales, forgetting,
and she inhales, learning,
       her tiny figure tries to weigh down the original titans' arms
       so they'll leave the clouds alone, until she wishes for a sunny day
       with dry grass and sticky legs and good friends,
       for now her roots tie to the frame of a bed where everything is real,
       stars fall down, cars all 'round, and the sky breaks into glimmering pieces,
               “We love you!” they'll say, and I do too.

       I would spill heartloads of dreams for her to dream
       If only she'd carve deeper through my chest for you to see them,
       words devour sound, but never come out as loud as they were found
       so are they even really ours' now?

I don't know where she'll go, but she's like the city,
             bright as a book, restless as wind
So she might just lie down and let the world come to her,
                                             with    eyes    wide     closed
photo is (c) to :icongravitatioon:, original deviation can be found here [link]

true story~>
was anyway
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:iconmode-de-vie:
mode-de-vie Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009  Student Writer
This is amazing, Vinnie. I love the imagery you've used, and the contrasts of the city and those "memories" she has. Wonderfully done. :+fav:
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:icongetyourgrip:
GetYourGrip Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
thank you very much, Sara :peace:
Reply
:iconcatnipkitty:
catnipkitty Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2009
Very nice poem! :clap: I like the overall flow in it and the structure. The only thing I think you might want to change is in the 1st line here: "A thought is forgot" It might sound better if you change "forgot" to "forgotten." :shrug:
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:icongetyourgrip:
GetYourGrip Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2009
thank you! :D
much appreciated~>
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:iconcatnipkitty:
catnipkitty Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2009
You're welcome! :D
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:iconyouinventedme:
YouInventedMe Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2009   Writer
fantastic piece and the photo
is wonderfully complimentary


xo!
Reply
:icongetyourgrip:
GetYourGrip Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2009
I appreciate it, good sir :peace:
Reply
:icongravitatioon:
Gravitatioon Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2009   Photographer
It's a really nice poem :) I'm honoured to have my picture next to it.
Reply
:icongetyourgrip:
GetYourGrip Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2009
thank you :)
Reply
:iconcolonelfitz:
ColonelFitz Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2009
I really like the images, and way you indented some sections worked really well. Beautiful. :heart:

I have one question, though, about this line:
If only she'd carve deeper through my chest for you to see them
Since you address "you" anywhere else in the poem, who exactly is it referring to?
Reply
:icongetyourgrip:
GetYourGrip Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2009
I feel like the rest of the poem is told like I'm not writing, but actually speaking, to the reader, so it is you :)
Reply
:iconspongexd:
spongeXD Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2009
this poem is really quite beautifully imaged
and it fits the picture so perfectly
Reply
:icongetyourgrip:
GetYourGrip Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2009
thank you very very much,
I thought so too :)
Reply
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